Possibly the more likely senario in Tuesday’s election: Only one First Selectman candidate will be elected and the two second Selectman candidates will both be elected because they both have more votes than either of the two losing First Selectman candidates. (see ‘Inquiring Mind’s’ question and ‘The Aussie’s’ comment below. Admin.

G’day Folks,

Back home in the outback of the down under (actually the up top by my way of thinking) in my home town of Alice Springs we had somethin put together by the Board of Elections that determined the town electorate IQ based on candidates that won elections in every town in our territory. The idea behind this was to see what towns were smart in terms of their evaluation of candidates and what towns were not so smart. The Board of Elections commission rated candidates for their various offices based upon their background and expertise relevant to the elective office that they were seeking. After the election was over the commission would analyze the results of the election to determine which towns were acting smart and which were less intelligent in the way they chose candidates. The electorate IQ of various towns usually ranged from genius (150 or better) like Erldunda south of us down to moronic (75 or less) like the town of Barrow Creek (where the crows fly backwards) north of us. A town like Darien in Fairfield County would probably be in the genius range while Winsted might be closer to the moronic range – a place where a guy like Wetzel would thrive since he could call everyone a moron.

This electorate IQ was calculated by candidates’ ratings based upon qualifications and who was elected. Candidates were rated 0, 3, 6, 9, and 12 with zero being based on no qualifications or negative factors up to 12 for those candidates with seemingly excellent qualifications for the job. With these town electorate IQ’s political parties could assess how to approach and campaign in a town based upon their electorate IQ.

I thought that I would take a stab at this in my new found home of Woodstock CT to see how the electorate performs based on my own perspective. I’m being up front before the election so that we can learn the electorate IQ after the election and be surprised, hopefully pleasantly…but I’m not hopeful. I thought that I would give you my impression of some of the candidates and rate them and then see how I do. Unfortunately I have no control over the outcome of the election and will have to live with the consequences just as we did when Bush was elected and then re-elected. Believe me, down under, the US of A electorate scored a boner by our Australian standards and our method of electorate IQ measurement; the US of A appears to have also scored in the ignorant range in many other countries.

Just to give you some examples, I rated Mr. Walker as a 12 (he’s True Blue) based on the other poor choices because he has indicated his support for our education system and stated in the Shoppers Guide that he won’t meddle in other Boards’ missions. I’m sure Allan understands that there’s a reason why Selectmen have to run every 2 years unlike BOE board members that run every 6 years and P&Z and Finance board members that run every 4 years. Ms. Wholean (we gave birth to a politician two years ago) gets a 6 for her ‘on-the-job training’ even though she takes 60 hours a week to get a job done that would take others 20 hours. Ms. Valentine (a few wanks short of an… Deleted by Admin) gets no points because of the trashy fliers that were distributed to car windshields on Monday night during the Middle School debate and her negative campaigning (may her armpits be infested with the fleas of 1000 camels).

Blokes like Andrajiec (??) and Converse (Bonzer mates!) get 12′s for their superior backgrounds and presentation at the two ‘debates’ and Cabana (he had a head on him like a sucked mango) gets a 3 for believing that Prop 46 is all we need (we need that like a submarine needs a screen door). And Becki gets a 9 for her willingness to work hard and her communication skills (flat out like a lizard drinking).

For the BOE, Kevin Ford gets a 12 for his competence in contract negotiations and his intelligence and Leavitt gets a 9 for his long academic background. Rosendahl (he’s got a few roo’s loose in the top paddock) gets a zero for his negative campaigning, the flier placed on windshields and his history of Board antagonism. Musumeci is a good guy so I gave him a 6.

Breen reminds me of Ned Kelly (I’ll kick your bum till your nose bleeds!) so I gave him a 12 and the same for his band of rebels – Swale and Bartolomei for their solid expertise in zoning regs. Gordon (you’ve got tickets on yourself mate!) gets a 9 for his pedantic rhetoric and Dexter Young (he’s got the rough end of the pineapple) gets a 6 for being well intended – unfortunately Dexter’s candidacy is hurt by his negative running mates. Dottie Durst (she thinks she’s got you by the short and curlies) gets a 3 for sounding like fingernails scraping against the blackboard, a technique that she uses in teaching and torturing inmates at our state prisons. Anastasi gets a zero for his shopping mall dealings (he could talk under wet cement with a mouth full of marbles).

First number in (parens) is the candidates rating, second number after 3 dots is theoretical election #1 and the third number after six dots is a theoretical election #2. Election #1 is an intelligent election by my humble standards and election #2 presents the IQ of a not so smart electorate based upon my standards. Needless to say that like me, election #1 demonstrated that the Woodstock electorate had a very high IQ close to the genius range while election #2 suggested that our town was not so smart. But what do I know? I’m sure that Wetzel bloke would have a totally different rating system.

I plan to use this rating system to assess the outcome of the election from my own perspective and the near-term prospects for the future of the town of Woodstock. I will report back after the election.

G’day Folks, gonna drain me dragon. the Aussie

Candidate ratings (my standards) and two extreme alternative election outcomes:

First Selectmen (elect 2)

Walker (12)… 12 ……no
Wholean (6)… 6 ……6
Valentine (0)…no ……0

Second Selectman (1)

Paquette (6)…6 ……no
Eaffy (6)…no ……6

Board of Finance (elect 2)

Cabana (3)…no ……3
B. Leavitt (9) …no ……no
Converse (12)… 12 ……12
Andrzeicik (12)… 12 ……no

BOF 2yr term (1)

Cass (9) … 9……no
McCoy(6) …no ……6

BOF Alternate (elect 1)
Young (6)… 6 ……no
Kaufman (6)…no ……6

Board of Education (elect 3)

Musumeci (6)… 6……6
Leavitt (9)… 9 ……9
Ford (12)… 12 ……no
Rosendahl (0)…no……0

Planning & Zoning Commission (elect 5)

Gordon (9)… 9……9
Bartolomei (12)… 12 ……no
Durst (3)…no …… 3
Rich (0)…no …… 0
Swale (12)… 12 ……no
Young (6) … 6……6
Breen (12)… 12 ……no
Anastasi (0)…no……0

P&Z Alternates (elect 2)

Fortin (6)… 6……no
Day(12)… 12 ……no
Spaulding (3)…no …… 3

Town Electorate IQ based on theoretical outcome… 159 (first vote) … 72 (second vote)

Scores of 150 or above = genius
Scores of 75 or below = moronic

Let’s see what happens.