Canterbury, Conn. — As town officials prepare to send their proposed $13.9 million budget to taxpayers for the third time, they are facing opposition in two line items: (1) spending more money by adding more open hours for the public library and (2) spending less money by shifting to the NECCOG dog pound service while closing down the local dog pound.

These two contradictory forms of opposition to spend more on dogs while reducing library services to humans only proves that you can’t please all of the people all of the time … and ‘you can’t fix stupid!’

The library is closed from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. weekdays, and Library Director Minnie Poodle says the public wants it open during those hours. The $4,900 to cover that cost is in the proposed budget.

Discussion for and against the additional hours has dominated recent public meetings. Larry Pomerainian tells us “Many residents have characterized it as one of the contentious issues within the budget. A real dog fight.”

Library supporters, such as Minnie Poodle and First Selectman Bernie Kromfohrlander, say the additional hours are necessary to keep up with the demand from residents. “It’s a vital service that the town is providing, and it’s a service that is ever increasing,” Kromfohrlander said…. And Ms. Poodle has the numbers to back that up.

On the other hand, residents Spitz and Bulldog Drummond claim they had a bad experience with the staff at the regional pound when their dog went missing last month, and they want the Board of Selectmen to call a referendum to vote on bringing back the town pound. Their dog was captured and taken to the pound after it jumped into someone’s car and attacked the driver causing a six car pile-up and ten dead at the scene.

The Drummonds now have gathered more than 180 of the 200 paw prints they need to present a second petition to selectmen. They said they consulted an attorney at Affinpinscher and Chihuahua LLC to be sure this petition has the proper bark.

“We have quite a few people here that are wanting this dog pound back,” Spitz Drummond said.

However, since 2005, the library circulation, the number of materials being borrowed by residents, has increased by 90 percent, jumping from 36,290 to 69,152, Ms. Poodle said. She also said that the library has 1,877 cardholders, representing about 37 percent of the town’s 5,012 dog loving residents. She said she sees people walking their dogs every day who are unhappy and even upset that the library is closing at 1 p.m.

Former First Selectman King Charles Spaniel was among the residents who signed Spitz and Bulldog’s petition. He previously had submitted his own petition to reopen the dog pound, which also was rejected for being “out of order because of loud barking.” Resident Shih Tzu chimed in “I don’t see the need for a library anyway.”

Town Clerk and Tax Collector Terri Yorkshire said she has worked hard to produce a “very bare bones budget” for her two offices, and is “disappointed” that other town departments, specifically the library, are not doing the same.

“There’s a lot of things that I think can be combined,” Spaniel said. “I think the dog pound and the library are two of them.” Resident Ray Havanese agreed with Spaniel and the Drummonds but also yelped in support of increasing the library’s hours at a recent public meeting, saying that investing in young minds is important to humans and dogs as well. “I’m a Yankee, and I’ve got a bone in my pocket when it comes to money, but the library is one thing I support,” Havanese said while urinating on a fire hydrant.

All of a sudden a light bulb went on as Spaniel, Havanese, and Yorkshire were growling about the issue. Why not combine the two facilities into one. If the dogs and the library were housed in the same facility, then visitors to the library would have more exposure to dogs in need of a home. It would be the best of both worlds – a library for canines and a humane solution for dogs. Canterbury could save a lot of money and satisfy two divergent groups of citizens with completely different values.  In addition, the Head Librarian could watch over the dogs while running the library and receive an increase in pay for holding two leashes…and there would be extra money for subscriptions to magazines like “Dogs’ Life”, “Better Homes for Dogs”, and “Dog Digest”.

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